Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Freshly posted on X:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Going viral on Reddit:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Making waves on Reddit:

Life is weird and then you die.

Seen just now on Threads:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Spotted on X:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Just landed via TikTok:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"All the rumors are true, and the truth is even juicier! 😜📢 #SorryNotSorry"

confidence, humor, me, personality, sarcasm, self-deprecation, teasing, whatever, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

2 months ago

35, age, age 35, best, borrow, borrow womb, friend, friendship, gay, gay best friend, girl, girls, humor, love, relationship, womb
If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

2 months ago

chaos, contestant, contestants, course, drunk, every, forever, humor, i, island, life, love, Love Island, party, pool, reality, reality show, show, wasted
I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

2 months ago

annoyance, attitude, humor, i, laziness, people
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

3 months ago

dream, dreams, frustration, hate, humor, i, lose, office, office humor, paper, pen, relatable, sanity, things, work
Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

2 months ago

celebration, couples, day, enjoy, happiness, humor, irony, let, love, once, relationships, single, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

2 months ago

be yourself, doing, everyone, honesty, humor, i, interaction, love, people, personality, say, scaring, social, social interaction, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Telegram this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

17 shares on Slack this month:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Making waves on TikTok:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Going viral on TikTok:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Making waves on Instagram:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Trending via Slack:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Just landed via WeChat:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Going viral on Messenger:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨