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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Spotted on Messenger:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Going bananas on X:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Freshly posted on X:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Just landed via Threads:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"All the rumors are true, and the truth is even juicier! 😜📢 #SorryNotSorry"

confidence, humor, me, personality, sarcasm, self-deprecation, teasing, whatever, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

1 month ago

good, having, hours, humor, interact, introvert, morning, people, personal, personal space, should, sleep, social, space, time, waking, waking up
Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

2 months ago

annoyance, chip, chips, conflict, divorce, eating, humor, potato, potato chip, relationship, snack, spouse, try, TV, watch
I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

2 months ago

communication, dating, drunk, drunk text, humor, i, loneliness, relationship, single, text
Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

4 months ago

80s, being, Chinese, Chinese takeout, convinced, eating, grown up, humor, late, main, me, movy, nostalgia, office, stay, stay late, staying, takeout, work
Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

1 month ago

day, finger, fingers, humor, know, last, last day, reminder, somebody, somewhere, today, unexpected
If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

2 months ago

entitlement, fine, humor, love, me, opinion, opinions, rejection, relationship, silly, stupid, want, wrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Going viral on X:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

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Activity Log ✨

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

I need a day off from myself.

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

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Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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