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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Going viral on Reddit:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Live now on Instagram:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Making waves on Messenger:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Seen just now on Reddit:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Going viral on Slack:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

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Commentary:
Trying to bribe my brain with ice cream and cat videos 😹🍦📺

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

78 shares on X this month:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

65 shares on Messenger this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

62 shares on X this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

65 shares on X this month:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Making waves on Reddit:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Breaking via Slack:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Making waves on Discord:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

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