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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Breaking via TikTok:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Shared recently on Messenger:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Live now on Slack:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via TikTok:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Spotted on X:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to bribe my brain with ice cream and cat videos 😹🍦📺

around, dopamine, feel, feeling, frustration, girl, here, high, humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

0

2 months ago

app, communication, humor, relationship, talk, technology, where, wife, WifeChat
I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

0

2 months ago

away, curb, driving, habit, humor, observation, parking, parking habit, person, sarcastic, too
I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

0

2 months ago

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads
I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

0

2 months ago

always, bandana, canine, dog, gang, gone, groomer, home, hours, humor, i, love, loyalty, only, pet, three, time, transformation
So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

0

2 days ago

actually, city, cool, everyone, humor, new, New York, opinion, sarcasm, stupid, york
Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

0

4 weeks ago

cryptic, divine, dream, dreams, gut, gut instinct, instinct, intuition, source, symbolism

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Slack this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

16 shares on X this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

62 shares on Threads this month:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Making waves on Threads:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Going viral on WeChat:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Live now on Discord:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Spotted on Discord:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Trending via Messenger:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨