Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.
  • That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.
  • If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.
  • I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.
  • I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.
  • I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.