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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Just shared via WeChat:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Live now on Facebook:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Going viral on WeChat:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Going viral on Slack:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Trending via Facebook:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

2 months ago

0

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the treacherous waters of marriage, where love and war collide! ⚓💔 Who knew that 'happily ever after' could sometimes feel like a battle zone? ⚔️😅 Marriage: the ultimate test of teamwork and diplomacy! 💍🚢 #RelationshipStruggles"

commitment, expectations, harbor, humor, i, know, marriage, relationship, surprise, turned, warship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, bring, car, date, dinner, family, food, humor, i, meet, plate, relationship, situation
On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

0

3 months ago

babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting
I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

0

2 months ago

attitude, chill, expression, full, humor, irony, nonchalant, rage
On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

0

2 months ago

adventure, anything, fantasy, humor, journey, Mordor, need, nerd, quest
Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, before, earlier, every, humor, i, morning, night, procrastination, regret, sleep, wake up, why
Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

0

2 months ago

car, collection, hobby, hot, Hot Wheels, humor, i, over, playful, toy, visit, wheels

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Facebook this month:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Live now on Slack:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Trending via Telegram:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Spotted on Discord:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Freshly posted on X:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

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