Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"When my husband says he'll just be a minute, it's like receiving a free pass to embark on epic adventures and conquer life's challenges in the time it takes him to tie his shoelaces! 🦸‍♀️🎨📺 #TimeWellSpent #WifeyPower"

expectations, hell, house, humor, husband, i, just, know, minute, paint, procrastination, quest, relationship, series, sery, television, time, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

0

2 months ago

body, body language, experiment, gender, humor, language, legs, playful, self-expression, sitting, wide
The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

0

2 months ago

healthcare, humor, irony, job, money, paramedic, paycheck, profession, seen, thing, workplace, worst
Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

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3 months ago

anyone, dating, fall, fall in love, humor, living, living together, love, me, relationship, rent, roommate, together, want
“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

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2 months ago

absurdity, cut, drama, earthworm, front, gardening, humor, life, self-sacrifice, spade
Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

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5 months ago

awful, childbirth, family, family planning, humor, lot, market, parenting, planning, pregnancy, satire, seems, work
I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

0

2 months ago

awareness, before, effort, end, going, humor, i, life, life struggle, motivation, need, point, procrastination, put, real, self, self-awareness, shit, struggle, together, waiting, world, world end

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

26 shares on X this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Breaking via TikTok:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Just shared via Twitch:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Spotted on TikTok:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Going viral on Messenger:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Making waves on Discord:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Going viral on Twitch:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨