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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

38 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Spotted on Slack:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Just shared via Twitch:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Trending via Messenger:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Breaking via Reddit:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Just landed via Slack:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

2 months ago

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

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Commentary:
Haha, talk about a wired revolution! 📞🔗 Once upon a time, the only thing tangled was your headphones, not your life. Now, we're all glued to our screens—literally "tied" to our wireless cravings! 😅📱 Freedom just got a little more… *cord*ed!

dependency, free, freedom, humor, irony, people, phones, technology, tether, wireless, wires

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

38 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Just shared via X:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Seen just now on Threads:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Trending via WhatsApp:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Making waves on YouTube:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Breaking via Reddit:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Just landed via Instagram:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

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