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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Going bananas on Facebook:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Breaking via Instagram:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

0
When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, talk about a wired revolution! 📞🔗 Once upon a time, the only thing tangled was your headphones, not your life. Now, we're all glued to our screens—literally "tied" to our wireless cravings! 😅📱 Freedom just got a little more… *cord*ed!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

46 shares on Discord this month:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

89 shares on X this month:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Just shared via Facebook:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Making waves on Threads:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Going viral on Threads:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

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