When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.