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Commentary:
"Bravo to this wheelie awesome individual! 🎉♿️ Who knew saving the world would come with a seating arrangement requirement? 😂💰 Keep rollin' towards that million, one wheel revolution at a time! 🌟🚲 #WheelchairWisdom"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

4 months ago
aspiration, grow, humor, i, ID, lottery, lottery winner, retirement, winner, wish
Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

1 month ago
banana, candy, company, eye, food, honesty, humor, know, lie, perception, straight, taste
Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

1 month ago
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Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

1 month ago
awkwardness, forgetfulness, humor, introduction, just, me, name, person, Shazam, social, social awkwardness
We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

1 month ago
access, beliefs, communication, humor, internet, media, much, never, opinions, social, social media, stupid, thoughts
If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

1 month ago
alone, backwards, boy, healing, home, home alone, humor, loving, men, perspective, story, watch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Trending via Twitch:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Spotted on WeChat:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Just landed via Threads:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

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Activity Log ✨

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

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When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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