Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,915

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Just landed via X:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Going viral on YouTube:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Trending via Reddit:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Breaking via Discord:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Going viral on Discord:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taco 'bout crossing borders—soon we'll have sushi burritos with sombreros! 🌯🍣😂

Asian, cultural, cultural mix, enough, food, humor, identity, mexican, mix, popular, popularity, something, stereotype

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

0

1 month ago

AI, imagination, imagine, money, spending, spent, technology, train, transportation
Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

0

2 months ago

best, big, eat, food, humor, irony, joke, just, lie, self-deprecation, strong
We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

0

2 months ago

back, business, business phrase, circle, circle back, close, delay, humor, i, meeting, next, phrase, procrastination, season, taste, year
Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, bad, career, dreams, following, humor, i, job, job market, market, unemployment
I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

0

2 months ago

best, hibernation, humor, i, know, nation, preference, sleep
People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

0

2 months ago

allowed, Christmas, customer, humor, little, people, relief, retail, should, slap, stress, stress relief, treat, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

73 shares on X this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Just landed via Threads:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Going viral on Twitch:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Just landed via X:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Live now on TikTok:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Just landed via Facebook:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨