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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Making waves on Threads:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Trending via Reddit:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Just shared via Twitch:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Trending via Threads:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
Taco 'bout crossing borders—soon we'll have sushi burritos with sombreros! 🌯🍣😂

Asian, cultural, cultural mix, enough, food, humor, identity, mexican, mix, popular, popularity, something, stereotype

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

7 hours ago

babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

2 months ago

behavior, breakfast, humor, hunger, i, know, mood, morning
Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

2 months ago

airport, anything, asked, coke, expensive, food, food pricing, humor, i, joke, just, me, paid, pricing, sandwich, security, seen, start, travel, unusual
Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

2 months ago

anxiety, away, creature, fear, giggle, humor, imagine, ran, run, spider, us
My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

2 months ago

boredom, boring, humor, quit, self-deprecation, shadow, too
I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

2 months ago

conflict, favor, humor, humor about conflict, humorous, humorous quote, i, international, international relations, joke, political, political humor, relations, sarcasm, satire, war, war joke

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Slack this month:

I run a parody bank account.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Just shared via Twitch:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Making waves on Instagram:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Making waves on Slack:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Just landed via Facebook:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Just shared via Threads:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Just landed via Telegram:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Keep the laugh going 😂

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨