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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has copied:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has copied:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has viewed:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has shared:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Remember, if you start with, β€œIt’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Just landed via X:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like β€œHow to teach your kid to not bite”.

Seen just now on Threads:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Just shared via Slack:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Witty and playful text exploring brain's confusion about importance and anxiety.
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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of our complex brains – caught between apathy and anxiety! πŸ€”πŸ’­ It's like we're starring in a never-ending sitcom called "The Mind Games." πŸ˜‚ #Overthinking101 πŸ§ πŸ™ˆ

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has shared:

β€œYou’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has copied:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say β€œguess where I am”. The library?

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has shared:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Reddit:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Making waves on Twitch:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Just landed via X:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Trending via Facebook:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Going viral on Twitch:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Just landed via X:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

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