Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.