Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.