Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Live now on Reddit:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Trending via WeChat:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Trending via Messenger:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

👇

Commentary:
"When they finally have a brunch together, the universe might implode from the awkward silence. 🌈🥐😅"

dynamic, friendship, gender, hang, humor, LGBTQ, men, orientation, relationships, sexual, sexual orientation, social, social dynamic, stereotypes, straight, why, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

0

2 months ago

able, direct, handle, humor, irony, nature, outside, plant, sunlight
You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

0

2 months ago

Caesar, historical, historical reference, humor, julius, Julius Caesar, killed, me, meeting, reference, reluctance, sarcasm, thing, want, work
I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, banana, confusion, humor, i, idea, nutrition, sun, sure, vitamin
Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

0

2 months ago

attraction, attractive, being, call, charm, dating, extra, flirting, humor, i, just, nice, playfulness, someone
I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, life, life stage, perspective, self-deprecation, stage, teenager
Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

0

3 months ago

apocalypse, fluency, humor, language, preparation, survival, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Seen just now on X:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Making waves on Instagram:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Breaking via Telegram:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Just landed via Slack:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨