Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Seen just now on Discord:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Trending via Twitch:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Breaking via Messenger:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Going viral on Telegram:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Just landed via TikTok:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Just shared via Threads:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about women and impulsive online shopping, highlighting humor and irony.

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Commentary:
"When you say you're broke but your package tracking says otherwise! 😂📦💸 #SheinNinja"

broke, delivery, fashion, here, humor, online, online shopping, Shein, shopping, spending, sudden, swear, women

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

54 shares on X this month:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Shared recently on Slack:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Going viral on Messenger:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Just landed via TikTok:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Just landed via Messenger:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Spotted on Discord:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨