Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Trending via Snapchat:

Seen just now on Discord:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Trending via Messenger:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Just landed via Threads:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Live now on YouTube:

Is this art or trash?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

5 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why not both: as long as it pays my salary! 😂💾📊

data, dialect, humor, language, pronounce, pronunciation, question

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

2 months ago

humor, humor quote, nostalgia, past, peaking, people, self-deprecating, stay, where
Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

2 months ago

airplane, baby, babysitting, feeding, funny situation, here, humor, i, just, know, parenting, right, saying, situation, twin, weird
If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

2 months ago

apocalypse, emotion, expression, humor, i, just, love, relationship, sarcasm, say, talking
The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

2 months ago

cost, dinner, economy, food, having, high, humor, lifestyle, living, nap, sleep, thinking
First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

2 weeks ago

crypto, cryptocurrency, date, dating, dating idea, first date, humor, idea, joke, me, money, transfer
One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

2 months ago

adult, being, burner, ever, everyday, everyday life, favorite, having, humor, kitchen, know, life, quirky, relatable, stove, stove top, things, top, true

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on TikTok this month:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

46 shares on Facebook this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

10 shares on Facebook this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Seen just now on X:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Making waves on Messenger:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨