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Commentary:
Looks like it's time to plug in and recharge! ⚡😴 Don't let your body run on low power mode for too long, or you might start glitching out! 😂🔌 #NeedMoreSleep

battery, body, energy, humor, sleep, tired, yawning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

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2 months ago

afternoon, anything, humor, maybe, morning, motivation, optimism, possibility, procrastination, reality, time, tomorrow
I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

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2 months ago

adulting, age, arrest, funny perspective, house, house arrest, humor, life, life stage, longer, perspective, sounds, stage, thing, where, worst, worst thing
If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

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2 months ago

admire, brains, humor, joke, relationship, woman, yourself, zombie
I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

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2 months ago

emotional, emotional support, humor, i, octopus, people, pet, shoplift, slap, support, train, training, want
I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

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2 months ago

baking, box, cake, food, handle, hold, humor, i, just, never, transport, trust
Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

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2 months ago

culture, distraction, effort, head, humor, impossible, memory, mental, mental effort, mission, Mission Impossible, music, password, pop, pop culture, remember, song, theme, theme song, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

58 shares on Slack this month:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Live now on Messenger:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Spotted on Discord:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨