Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.
  • The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.
  • Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.
  • I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
  • It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.
  • One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.