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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Freshly posted on Discord:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Just landed via Discord:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Trending via Reddit:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Making waves on Reddit:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

You can reach me by butterfly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🦋"Forget about carrier pigeons, I only communicate via fashionable butterflies now. Catch me if you can! 💌😄 #ButterflyWhisperer" 🦋

butterfly, communication, creativity, humor, lighthearted, me, nature, reach, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

0

2 months ago

adult, after, back, blues, hardest, long weekend, Monday, Monday blues, motivation, office, productivity, returning, things, weekend, work
Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

0

2 months ago

car, construction, cornfield, deer, driving, forgot, front, humor, jump, just, life, lot, Midwest, people, quirks, regional, regional quirks, road, road construction, rural, rural life, sick, small, small town, thinking, town, weather
I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult content, am, content, equal, equal pay, equality, favor, humor, i, joke, media, men, OnlyFans, pay, social, social media
I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

0

2 months ago

communication, conflict, exacerbate, humor, i, irony, just, things, want, worse
“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, available, bro, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, overthinking, thinking, type
It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

0

4 months ago

cake, cauliflower, content, harmful, harmful content, humor, i, internet, job, joke, just, police, policing, post, recipe, report, saw, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Discord this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Spotted on Telegram:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Going viral on WeChat:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Going viral on Instagram:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can reach me by butterfly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨