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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Going viral on Reddit:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Live now on Discord:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Shared recently on Telegram:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Just shared via Twitch:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Just landed via WeChat:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Just shared via TikTok:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

You can reach me by butterfly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🦋"Forget about carrier pigeons, I only communicate via fashionable butterflies now. Catch me if you can! 💌😄 #ButterflyWhisperer" 🦋

butterfly, communication, creativity, humor, lighthearted, me, nature, reach, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

0

2 months ago

activity, always, big, cool, cool thing, five, football, fun, fun activity, giving, high, high five, hobby, ideal, ideal man, man, multitasking, sports, thing, things, thinking, throwing, truck
I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

0

5 months ago

argue, argument, behavior, business, i, idiot, idiots, internet, just, keep, mind, minding, minding business, online, online behavior, own, scrolling
Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

1

4 months ago

aspiration, being, confidence, cute, going, humor, me, rich, self-love, wealth
Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

0

2 months ago

AI, answer, artificial intelligence, ChatGPT, day, ever, every, everyday, frustration, humor, i, keys, suing, where
“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

0

2 months ago

being, budget, complaint, cost, dollars, everything, expense, frustration, getting, heat, money, temperature, tired, weather
A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, communication, humor, know, real, shut, shut up, silence, smartphone, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

20 shares on X this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Making waves on Messenger:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Spotted on Discord:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Trending via Messenger:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Just shared via WeChat:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can reach me by butterfly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨