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I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

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Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. Iโ€™m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

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Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

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I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

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Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

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Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

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Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

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Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

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The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

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Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

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You can reach me by butterfly.

You can reach me by butterfly.

Commentary:
๐Ÿฆ‹"Forget about carrier pigeons, I only communicate via fashionable butterflies now. Catch me if you can! ๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ˜„ #ButterflyWhisperer" ๐Ÿฆ‹



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