Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Go ahead and try to hurt me…although I doubt your attempts will be as effective as a hip-height table corner! 💥😂 #Unbreakable #AdvantagesOfBeingTall"

corner, hip-height, humor, hurt, injury, me, sarcasm, table, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, asleep, awake, day, fall, humor, just, night, sleep, stay, trying
Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

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2 months ago

deserve, humanity, humor, last, last year, mess, new, new year, sarcasm, year
Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

0

2 months ago

cake, dessert, eat, enjoyment, food, fork, harder, humor, much, plastic, plastic fork
My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

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2 months ago

activity, both, friend, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, i, joke, laugh, marathon, running, said
I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

0

2 months ago

always, better, connectivity, desert, digital, humor, i, internet, joke, looking, occasionally, pun, signal, tech, tech humor, technology, wandering, wifi
The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

0

5 months ago

culture, holding, internet, movie, old, old movie, people, preservation, society, together, upload

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

41 shares on Discord this month:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

79 shares on Discord this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

97 shares on X this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Making waves on Slack:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Just shared via Facebook:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just landed via Pinterest:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Live now on Facebook:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨