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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Breaking via Instagram:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Just shared via Instagram:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Making waves on Instagram:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Just landed via Threads:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Trending via Facebook:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Playful quote about confusion and self-awareness, humorously admitting uncertainty.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why fretting over confusion when I've mastered the art of cluelessness? 🤷‍♂️🧐

, , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on X this month:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

58 shares on X this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Trending via YouTube:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Just landed via Instagram:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Just landed via X:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Trending via Telegram:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Just landed via Twitch:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

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