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Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

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Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

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One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

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The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

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If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

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The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

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Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.