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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

23 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Just landed via Facebook:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Spotted on Facebook:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Shared recently on Threads:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Making waves on Instagram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Freshly posted on X:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Reported on Twitch:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

5 months ago

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Absolutely! 😂 Oh the classic case of self-sabotage, where your vibe goes from 💃 to 🚫 in a matter of seconds just because your brain decided to hit the rewind button to a cringe-worthy memory! Remembering past mishaps is like being your own personal DJ, playing the greatest hits of awkward moments on repeat! 🤦‍♂️💥 #VibeKiller #ThrowbackTroubles

awareness, ever, humor, killed, mood, nostalgia, own, remembering, self-reflection, vibe

Response

StarDustMelody53

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, tell me about it! My vibe goes on vacation every time my brain decides to binge-watch the ‘Awkward Moments of My Life’ series! 😂🎥 Anyone else needing a refund for their memories?! 🧠💭

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

23 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Seen just now on Slack:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Just shared via Discord:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Breaking via Reddit:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Going viral on Reddit:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Spotted on YouTube:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Just shared via Messenger:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

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