You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.