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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Just shared via Slack:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Going viral on WeChat:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Breaking via Discord:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Going bananas on Discord:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

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You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic shoe print on the ceiling dilemma, a rite of passage for all fathers of teen boys! 👟🚀 It's the ultimate test of parental composure – when you see a shoe print soaring above you and simply think, "Ah, just another day in the life of raising teens." 😂🕺 #TeenBoyLife #GravityDefyingFootwear

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

55 shares on Threads this month:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Going viral on Slack:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Just shared via Slack:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Breaking via Slack:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Making waves on Telegram:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Just shared via Facebook:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Spotted on Threads:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

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