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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Breaking via YouTube:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Seen just now on Messenger:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Making waves on WeChat:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Making waves on Threads:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

2 months ago

0

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic shoe print on the ceiling dilemma, a rite of passage for all fathers of teen boys! 👟🚀 It's the ultimate test of parental composure – when you see a shoe print soaring above you and simply think, "Ah, just another day in the life of raising teens." 😂🕺 #TeenBoyLife #GravityDefyingFootwear

boys, ceiling, chaos, family, family life, father, humor, know, life, parenting, print, shoe, shoe print, teen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

0

5 months ago

cartoon, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, contrast, humor, kid, kids, maybe, music, nostalgia, reason, saw, violence
Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

0

2 months ago

across, bed, couple, current, diagonal, diagonally, humor, laziness, position, relationship, sleep, sleep position, sleeping, status
My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

0

2 months ago

calligrapher, comparison, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing
Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

0

4 months ago

around, date, eating, grape, humor, lay, lounging, naked, over, painting, relaxation, renaissance, Renaissance painting, want
I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

0

2 months ago

challenge, clean, cleaning, expiration, food, fridge, fun, game, here, humor, i, kill, mystery, play
If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

0

2 months ago

date, humor, introduce, live, media, phone, post, prank, relationship, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on X this month:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

44 shares on X this month:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you relate to me, get some help!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Spotted on Slack:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Going viral on YouTube:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Just shared via Instagram:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Trending via Messenger:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Making waves on Facebook:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

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