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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the rare and elusive 📈'ologist, known for their expertise in the study of random things like the perfect taco to guac ratio 🌮🥑 Perhaps I'll earn my degree in 'Sassology' next!”

conversation, humor, ologist, sarcasm, smart, sound, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

0

2 months ago

act, act normal, anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, buying, funny situation, innocence, leave, moment, normal, situation, social, social anxiety, store, think
I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

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5 months ago

activity, adult, adults, break, close, fun, fun activity, i, job, jobs, just, months, need, outside, play, please, relaxation, summer, summer vacation, think, three, tired, vacation
“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

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2 months ago

actually, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, me, over, quiet, sarcasm, social, social interaction, speak, talk, talking, thanks, tried, twice
“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

0

2 months ago

conversation, frustration, going, hell, humor, hurts, i, job, job search, know, me, question, sarcasm, search, second, should, violent, violent question
We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

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2 months ago

change, fergalicious, humor, living, society, times
Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

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2 months ago

broken, food, heart, humor, just, lasagna, love, never, relationship, saying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

49 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

34 shares on Discord this month:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

56 shares on Slack this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Making waves on TikTok:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Going viral on TikTok:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Just landed via YouTube:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Just landed via TikTok:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Spotted on Messenger:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Trending via Discord:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨