Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”