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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Making waves on Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Making waves on Instagram:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Making waves on Facebook:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.
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Commentary:
"Remember, folks: Sometimes being single is a blessing in disguise! 😂🙌 Your ex may be off wrecking havoc elsewhere, but hey, at least you're out of the danger zone! Stay strong and unbothered, my friends! 💪😎 #DodgedABullet"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Spotted on Telegram:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Going viral on Facebook:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Going viral on Telegram:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

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