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Commentary:
"Your eyes are homesick for your bed during a yawn, shedding tears of nostalgia 🛏️😥 Who knew yawning could be so emotional?! Time for some cozy bedtime stories to cheer up those sleepy peepers! 📖😴"

bed, eyes, humor, longing, miss, sad, sleep, tiredness, water, yawn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

0

3 weeks ago

buy, buyer, chair, chairs, coming, concern, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, humor, i, marketplace, me, murder, online, online shopping, over, safety, safety concern, sale, shopping, someone
Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

0

2 months ago

humor, media, people, realization, silence, social, social media, suffering, tried, Twitter
I’m sick of living through history!

0

2 months ago

frustration, history, humor, living, satire, sick, through
I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, embarrassing, God, Gord, humor, i, lord, mix-up, mixed, prayed, religion
Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

0

2 months ago

better, bitter, feelings, humor, i, old, perspective, thought
I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

0

2 months ago

back, being, cartoon, cat, cats, doing, humor, i, jerry, job, lazy, mouse, noticed, pets, problem, tom, Tom and Jerry, yelling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Live now on Reddit:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Trending via Instagram:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Going viral on Twitch:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Seen just now on Discord:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Spotted on Telegram:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

I’m sick of living through history!

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨