Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.
  • Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.
  • Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
  • Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?
  • I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.
  • I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.