Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Making waves on Slack:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Going viral on Reddit:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Just landed via TikTok:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to get coal for an avant-garde stocking stuffer, huh? 🎅🧦🤨

acting, acting up, before, Christmas, claus, disbelief, holiday, mischief, right, Santa, Santa Claus, town

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

1 month ago

day, fitness, gym, humor, joke, leg, leg day, misunderstanding, self-care, shaving
People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

5 months ago

activity, fly, fly kite, glad, humor, kite, nostalgia, over, past, past activity, people, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, used
The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

1 week ago

age, being, form, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, manipulation, older, realization, realize, rush, someone
I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

3 months ago

baby, crying, envy, escape, event, gathering, humor, i, leave, parents, social, social gathering
It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

2 months ago

head, humor, joke, observation, whistle, wind
We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

2 months ago

gratitude, humor, just, know, laugh, lie, mirror, reflection, self-image

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

15 shares on X this month:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

12 shares on Discord this month:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

23 shares on Threads this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Just landed via Twitch:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Making waves on Telegram:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Making waves on Reddit:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Trending via Snapchat:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Spotted on TikTok:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨