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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Just landed via Pinterest:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Spotted on TikTok:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Trending via Snapchat:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Live now on Instagram:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

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You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Join the Snack Side, we have cookies! 🍪 Or face the consequences and snack in solitude. The choice is yours… and might we suggest the path with the tastiest rewards! 😂🍿 #SnackWars"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I run a parody bank account.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Just landed via Instagram:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Spotted on WeChat:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Trending via Facebook:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Going viral on Instagram:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Spotted on TikTok:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Just landed via TikTok:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

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