Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,917

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Just shared via Discord:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Just landed via Instagram:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Shared recently on X:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Shared recently on X:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they're getting a head start on next year's holiday spirit! 🎄😅✨

Christmas, countdown, days, decoration, decorations, holiday, humor, impatience, people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

0

2 months ago

basic, comeback, compassion, empathy, human, humor, kindness, social, time
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

0

4 months ago

advice, away, cleaning, disgusting, dish, dish sponge, hear, hygiene, i, kitchen, know, needs, sponge, throw
Thaw me like one of your french fries!

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, joke, me, playfulness, pun, romance, thaw
I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

0

1 month ago

before, cop, drive, driving, enforcement, humor, i, law, law enforcement, police, question, roundabout, traffic, wonder
It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

0

2 months ago

assistance, checkout, complete, employees, experience, funny experience, help, humor, me, self-checkout, shopping, three, yesterday
Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

0

2 months ago

doctors, funny observation, healthcare, hear, humor, irony, joke, me, observation, room, wait, waiting, waiting room, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

My lips could use some attention today.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Breaking via Threads:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Making waves on Twitch:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Just shared via TikTok:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Live now on YouTube:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Making waves on Telegram:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨