Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Making waves on Threads:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Trending via TikTok:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about early Christmas decorations, humorously highlighting holiday enthusiasm.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they're getting a head start on next year's holiday spirit! 🎄😅✨

Christmas, countdown, days, decoration, decorations, holiday, humor, impatience, people

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90 shares on YouTube this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

72 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Spotted on TikTok:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Breaking via YouTube:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Just landed via X:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Seen just now on X:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨