Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Breaking via Discord:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Seen just now on Slack:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Trending via Reddit:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Breaking via YouTube:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Making waves on Telegram:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Just shared via Twitch:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Freshly posted on Discord:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Mike is short for Micycle.

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they're getting a head start on next year's holiday spirit! 🎄😅✨

Christmas, countdown, days, decoration, decorations, holiday, humor, impatience, people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

73 shares on X this month:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

18 shares on X this month:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Breaking via YouTube:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Trending via Slack:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Trending via Instagram:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Just landed via Discord:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨