Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.
  • The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.
  • Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.
  • Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.
  • My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.
  • Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.