Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.
  • Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?
  • As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!
  • I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”
  • When is this robot army coming to take my job?
  • Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.