Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

9 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Spotted on WeChat:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Breaking via Messenger:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Trending via Snapchat:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Reported on Threads:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Making waves on Threads:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Making waves on Discord:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Trending via WeChat:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Jan 23, 2025

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like you've got an impromptu book club at 30,000 feet! 📚✈️ Might as well turn this flight into a live audio book experience – complete with in-flight commentary and dramatic pauses! Who needs in-flight entertainment when you have captive audiences on either side? 😄 #BookClubInFlight"

aloud, awkward, awkward situation, book, flight, humor, i, just, middle, middle seat, over, reading, seat, seatmate, should, sitting, situation, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share → : “I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.
2 weeks ago
Share → : It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.
Jan 21, 2025
Share → : Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.
6 months ago
Share → : Cancel culture has been canceled.
Jan 24, 2025
Share → : Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.
5 months ago
Share → : Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.
4 weeks ago
Share → : I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.
6 months ago
Share → : As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

9 minutes ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Spotted on X:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Going viral on WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Just shared via Slack:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Live now on Facebook:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴