Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

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Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

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Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

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We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

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The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

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I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.