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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Live now on Facebook:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Live now on Twitch:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Making waves on YouTube:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Going viral on Slack:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Making waves on Discord:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Making waves on Threads:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

4 weeks ago

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

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Commentary:
Oh, of course! Because nothing says romance like a good ol' interrogation! 🕵️‍♂️💬 Remember, ladies love confidence, so just boldly proclaim your undying love for pickles or your expertise in underwater basket weaving. Who needs questions when you've got statements as smooth as a jazz saxophonist on a moonlit night? Keep those words coming, fellas! 🎤🌙 #DatingAdvice #NoQuestionsAsked

advice, ask, cues, date, dating, dating advice, declarative, declarative statements, feel, fellas, humor, interrogation, lady, never, questions, social, social cues, statements, strong, sure

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,566

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Spotted on Instagram:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Trending via Instagram:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Making waves on Instagram:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Just landed via Reddit:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

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