Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.
  • Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.
  • A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.
  • I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.
  • Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.
  • Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.