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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

27 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Going viral on Twitch:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Trending via Instagram:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Spotted on Slack:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Making waves on Telegram:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

6 months ago

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's brain is doing some Olympic-level gymnastics trying to navigate the treacherous territory of social media and pet emotions! 🤯🐶🐱 Don't worry, your dog probably just wants to have a treat and a belly rub, not analyze your Instagram behavior! 😆 #OverthinkingChampion"

anxiety, cat, dog, dogs, feelings, humor, hurt, i, Instagram, mean, media, overthink, pet, social, social media, things, videos, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

27 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Live now on X:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Breaking via TikTok:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Seen just now on Slack:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Freshly posted on X:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Trending via Snapchat:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

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