Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.
  • Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.
  • I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.
  • I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.
  • (Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?
  • Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?