Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.
  • Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.
  • People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.
  • Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.
  • There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.
  • I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.