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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

8 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Just shared via Messenger:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Going viral on Threads:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Spotted on Messenger:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Going viral on X:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

6 months ago

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

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Commentary:
Adulthood is essentially a never-ending rollercoaster where the promise of relaxation is always just out of reach 🎢😅 It's like chasing after a mirage in the desert, except that mirage is a quiet weekend that never seems to materialize! 🏜️💼 Just keep chasing those elusive moments of peace between meetings and deadlines until the end of time! ⏳😂

adulthood, after, bit, die, expectations, humor, life, over, procrastination, routine, saying, slow, slow down, stress, things, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

8 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Live now on Threads:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Reported on Telegram:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Trending via Twitch:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Breaking via WeChat:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Going viral on Discord:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Trending via Threads:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

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