Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.
  • I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.
  • I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?
  • A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.
  • I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”
  • Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.