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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Nov 27, 2025

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Live now on TikTok:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Live now on Reddit:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Spotted on YouTube:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Breaking via WeChat:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Seen just now on Threads:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Going viral on Discord:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

2 weeks ago

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤯 The stress levels go through the roof when the parental request for a pen hits you during their crucial call! It's like the ultimate test of your pen-finding abilities under pressure. 🔍😅 Good luck dodging the relentless quest for the missing pen in those nail-biting moments! 🖊️📞 #ParentalPenPressure

ask, call, funny situation, humor, man, parents, pen, pressure, real, relatable, relatable humor, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Nov 27, 2025

3,984

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Just shared via Discord:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Trending via Discord:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Making waves on X:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Shared recently on Threads:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Going viral on Slack:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Going bananas on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

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