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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Seen just now on X:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Trending via Reddit:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Making waves on Instagram:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Just shared via Twitch:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.
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Commentary:
Now that’s camp—serving looks and getting sacrificed to the fashion gods 🔥👠🌋

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Seen just now on X:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Seen just now on Discord:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Trending via Reddit:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Going viral on Discord:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

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