30 funny met quotes - Wordgag

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

May 30, 2026

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

May 30, 2026

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

May 29, 2026

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

May 29, 2026

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

May 29, 2026

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

May 29, 2026

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

May 29, 2026

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

May 29, 2026

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

May 28, 2026

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

May 28, 2026

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

May 28, 2026

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

May 28, 2026

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

May 28, 2026

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

May 28, 2026

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

May 28, 2026

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

May 28, 2026

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

May 27, 2026

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

May 27, 2026

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

May 27, 2026

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

May 26, 2026

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

May 26, 2026

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

May 26, 2026

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

May 26, 2026

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

May 26, 2026

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

May 26, 2026

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

May 25, 2026

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

May 25, 2026

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

May 19, 2026

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

May 19, 2026

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

May 19, 2026