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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has viewed:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has copied:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has copied:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Twitch:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Trending via Discord:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they β€œcan’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Making waves on X:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Trending via Pinterest:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t like people driving fastβ€”that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.
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Commentary:
Looks like your nephew has already nailed the adulting trifecta: eat, sleep, and repeat! πŸ½οΈπŸ˜΄πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has shared:

β€œYou live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I wish it were social acceptable to say β€œI don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has shared:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has copied:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Fishing for compliments like β€œI’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Making waves on Slack:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Just shared via X:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Going viral on YouTube:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Seen just now on Slack:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Shared recently on X:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

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