Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.