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I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

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50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

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A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

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My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

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Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

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Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

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What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

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Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

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Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.