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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

I wonder if itโ€™s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

If there is a God and He โ€œlovesโ€ us, then explain snakes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

I donโ€™t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on WeChat:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Spreading quickly via X:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Just shared via WeChat:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now theyโ€™re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Live now on Telegram:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Making waves on YouTube:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Just landed via X:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Shared recently on Slack:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Going viral on Pinterest:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Making waves on Twitch:

My skin is so dry itโ€™s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.
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Commentary:
Sounds like your brain is hosting its own debate club! ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿง ๐ŸŽค

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

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Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

I think it broke my boyfriendโ€™s heart when I said he couldnโ€™t have Salma Hayek for Valentineโ€™s Day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I donโ€™t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as youโ€™re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

When people say theyโ€™re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Just landed via WeChat:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Seen just now on X:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Thatโ€™s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just donโ€™t know.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The Bachelor is like โ€œMeet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madisonโ€

Going viral on Pinterest:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

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