I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once. Posted on2 months ago2 months ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:The suspense is real—my metabolism thinks it's on a rollercoaster of carbs and confusions! 🎢🍕🍩🤔 Related Funny Posts 🤝 I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single. Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s. Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety. I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows. I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.